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My time with the ModNation Racers Beta

January 19th, 2010 · Chit chat

ModNation Racers Beta jumping

The most realistic racing game ever made!!

Over the past six months I have found myself paying more attention to the racing genre. What was once something I considered a stale type of video game. Games like Burnout Paradise and Wipeout HD have shown me the error of this type of thinking. Racing games can be fun! Racing games can be sporadic and unpredictable! Racing games can be good.

With those possibilities in mind, I played the ModNation Racers Beta.

As far as video game ideas go, there is nothing very revolutionary about making a kart racing game. It’s the distribution of the user created content and a community based upon personalization which will set it apart, much like the under-successful LittleBigPlanet. With vinyl figure inspired racers, customizable karts, experience points earned by racing online opponents, public high scores, professional created tracks (though I only got to play three of them on the beta), and a fun sense of humor, ModNation Racers succeed where LittleBigPlanet failed.

First we must ask ourselves the big question though. “How is the game?” Good. Honestly, I wished the beta included more tracks because I over played the ones it had. I had a lot of fun.

The kart racing feels really substantial. It’s impossible to not draw comparisons between ModNation Racers and LittleBigPlanet conceptually, but it is also equally hard not to be reminded of LBP’s tactile nature while racing along rocky roads in your custom kart. When you are driving across cobblestone, there’s a real nice well… at the risk of sounding redundant… there’s a real nice “bumpiness”. The same way LBP made the levels feel like they were dioramas made of wood and string your character was knocking itself through, ModNation Racers feels like you are controlling an kart in actual, physical space.

Complexity is an issue with kart racing games. How complicated do you make the system? How many tricks do you throw in for the hardcore racers to master without making the game too simulation-like. How much do you rip-off from Mario Kart?

I’m serious, that’s an honest question! Mario Kart is the standard all other kart racing games are judged upon. Plus, it’s the control mechanics most gamers are familiar with. Do you steal liberally and risk players calling B.S.? Or do you try to build a better mouse trap? Well, hopefully people realize the answer is a compromise of the two.

ModNation Racers seems to have found that compromise. There are items you find on the road and can use as weapons or boosts, reminiscent of Mario Kart, but they can level up if you collect more. It’s a nice spin on a standard kart racing mechanic. My favorite item to upgrade is the speed boost. On its own, your kart is given an extra burst of speed. If you collect three though, it’ll create a portal which will teleport you way ahead of the track if you drive through it. I cannot wait for those special, “OH YOU CHEATER!” moments while will come from racers appearing out of nowhere right into the finish line as you were about to take the gold.

I was pleased to see there is going to be a single player campaign mode, but since it is located in the hub world, I wonder if it is playable offline. I sometimes have trouble with my PS3’s wifi, so the possibility of having to be connected just to do a few quick races on my own is worrisome.

ModNation Racers custom racer Iron Man

Admit it, given all the most intuitive, deep customization controls for making amazing innovative race tracks, you too would spend most of your time making Iron Man. Adorable Iron Man!!

That hub world is pretty cool though. It’s clearly trying to improve on the distribution of content mechanics which LittleBigPlanet had some problems with. Driving through the hub world to your destination you can see large displays for what will eventually be racers with the fastest times, highly ranked player created tracks, popular designs of racers and karts, etc. etc. It’s a nice way to encourage people to take advantage of the community stuff, even if they are like me and have no interest in doing anything besides leaching off of the hard work of others.

Now for the real reason anyone plays Betas: the horrible, awful bugs.

The first one I recall involved being on a screen where the game waited for other players to join as a time counted down for the race to start. Then the timer ran out. Then I heard the sounds of everyone else racing. But I was still on that screen. You see, my friends, I was not kart racing. I was watching a screen waiting for other players while I heard the sounds of people across the country having fun. Fun I should have been having! The game seemed to have thought I was in the race though, so it made it impossible to leave the loading screen. I had to wait for the 10 minute race to be completed and then hope the next screen allowed me to participate. It diiid.

I was still sour.

Another bug involved getting stuck in between a hill and a fence. I didn’t finish that race either, on account of the fence. And the hill. This made me feel cross about hills and fences for a couple days later. I got over it, but sometimes I still see a fence and just want to go home.

There was a pretty fun bug I discovered as well though. Your kart, being able to jump, could work its way into a crack between two posts that was obviously supposed to be off limits. Once there, your kart could drive up the sides of the posts and hover.

That was neat. Hovering is neat.

Things to fix:

Load times need to be shorter! I don’t want to wait 3 minutes to play a 7 minute race.

Race ruining bugs.

I want some bots. Even the SNES Mario Kart technically had bots. Make me some bots.

Do I want to play more:

I want to see more first. An offline mode on its lonesome would make this a highly considered purchase for the kart racing on its own.

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iPhone Game Review – Wolfenstein RPG

January 18th, 2010 · Reviews, iPhone Games

It is undeniably a weird concept on paper.

“A Wolfenstein game for the iPhone… but as a first person, turn based, role playing game. Yeah! That’ll fly!”

And… well… yeah, it’s a pretty weird concept during execution as well. This game doesn’t really feel like the source material, a first person shooter staple of video game history. So I can see why this game’s existence raises a few questions. The biggest question? Why a dang RPG?! This has been a FPS for as long as FPS was a thing. Well… if you really want to know the answer…

A screen shot of some of the combat from Wolfenstein RPG

This is what John Woo dreams.

FPS’s on the iPhone are dumb.

So far all attempts to put the VERY popular genre on this VERY popular device have been, at best, VERY mediocre. Where as a turn based rpg can be constructed around what makes an iPhone game appealing and fun. So, unless you are some kind of Wolfenstein purist, and let us assume/pray you aren’t, Wolfenstein RPG could be the larger game experience you’ve been waiting for on the iPhone.

When I say “larger game experience” I mean a game that transcends the iPhone itself and feels like it could be a good game on ANY hand held platform. And, truth be told, if Wolfenstein RPG was on the DS or PSP, it would be something I’d want to play.

While it feels bigger than the average iPhone game, by which I mean bigger than a browser flash game, Wolfenstein RPG also does a lot of things right with the device. The game’s turn-based combat structure allows it to automatically save its progress after everything you do. This means you don’t have to worry about receiving a text or phone call forcing you to lose you place. This means you don’t have to finish a huge battle before you can put the phone down. This means the game can be played in both long or short bursts.

“Long bursts? Really? Long bursts? You’d want to play nothing but this during a two hour long plane flight?”

Well, I beat it, so not really. But if I hadn’t, I could see myself doing that. Actually, I completed this game during a cross state car ride. So there! The maps are large enough to produce a good hunk of game time by exploring them. There are medals awarded to you for completing certain objectives (like breaking everything possible in a level) which provides replay value if desired. The biggest reason I was able to play this game for extended periods of time though was the combat.

A skeleton getting his head punched off in Wolfenstein RPG.

See how fun this is?!

The game is constantly throwing new weapons and upgrades at you while diversifying the enemy types you encounter. A lot of the combat is just experimenting with different combinations of weapons on these enemies to find the best solution for each situation. For example, I had some really powerful weapons by the time the zombies started showing up in Wolfenstein RPG, but I discovered that simply punching them would knock off their heads (hilariously!!) and remove most of their health.

In that last sentence you might have caught my favorite part about Wolfenstein RPG: it’s over the top silliness. The story and characters are bizarre, reading romance novels gives you stat bonuses, shooting chickens turns them into well roasted birds on platters for you to eat, and if you punch a portrait of Hitler his image with react in pain. I would actually prefer this zaniness in the console and PC titles as well.

The game is currently $1.99 on the iTunes story, and I felt it was worth my money when they were charging a lot more. Want an iPhone game but not a fan of puzzle games or bad looking first person shooters? Give Wolfenstein RPG a try.

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Uncharted 2 – Wish I was a pacifist monkey

January 15th, 2010 · Reviews

Nathan Drake is about to do some climbing

Gonna climb all over this place! Awwwww yeah!

It begins with you waking up, shot and bleeding, on a train dangling off the edge of a cliff. It ends with a conversation about how clowns are scary.

That juxtaposition of larger than life threats with honest human moments is my favorite way to summarize what Uncharted 2 is. Though I never played the first Uncharted I always wanted to (still do!) but after the wild fervor of “BEST GAME OF THE YEAR!”s this new installment got, I decided to throw chronology out the window and TIME TRAVEL to the later, better game.

So, does Uncharted 2 live up to the hype? In a lie: yes. In a word: no. It’s a fantastic achievement of interactive spectacle, but it’s not a perfect video game.

Now… I understand how a sentence like that sounds. I’m sure there are readers thinking that I’m speaking ill of Uncharted 2 simply because it’s so darn popular and NOT LIKING STUFF IS MORE FUN. Let me be clear: I love liking stuff. Stuff is great. I want to be happy and enjoy stuff! Furthermore, I like Uncharted 2. I just don’t like it BEST.

Let me explain.

You only do two things when you’re in control of Uncharted’s man-crush-making main character, Nathan Drake:

1.)    Try to get somewhere. This is achieved by climbing and scampering across beautiful set pieces of various worldwide locals. The environments are expansive and jaw-dropping but never provide anything but a single journey from point A to point B. I felt like the game always wanted me to do one particular thing and 99 times out of 100 made it clear what that thing was.

2.)    Shoot things. Combat is cover based and that by itself is fun. Yet, when you try to do anything other than “stay put” during the battle you’ll find yourself practicing your favorite swear words (mine’s #$%#$!!). Drake’s climbing gives combat an axis of movement other action games ignore, which is nice, but the dude likes to climb way too much. It’s like he never grew out of that phase as a toddler and now can’t help himself. Whenever he brushes against a ledge he clamps on to it stubbornly. I actually wish there was a second control set for combat scenarios. If there was, maybe I wouldn’t have found myself screaming at Drake to jump up a dang wall. Oh well, he was probably unable to hear me over the shotgun shooting in him the face as he wiggled around in a corner.

The train combat of Uncharted 2

Gonna have to shoot a bunch. Awwwwww no.

And…that’s it. For 10+ hours you seldom else never besides murder people and aggressively mount anything bigger and older than you are. [Insert sexual Bea Arthur joke here.]

I’m torn because I really enjoyed the climbing parts of the game. I took them slowly and savored them. I got excited whenever Drake looked up at something and remarked “How am I going to get there?” Those were the bright times. In contrast, my heart sank whenever I walked into a large enclosed area with waist high objects spread around as if for taking cover behind. Those were the dark times.

Gameplay aside, Drake and company are all fully realized and gosh darn likable. The digital acting and voice work took cutscenes and in game moments to new heights. It was the nuances (the cracks in their voices, the tilting of their heads) which gave these characters souls.

I want to know these people. I want to be their friend. I hope I’m cool enough for them.

Nathan Drake smirks after something insanely dangerous just happened

This is the face Nathan Drake makes after he almost dies. He's so dreeeeamy!!

They feel real to me. If a movie adaption of Uncharted is every made, I will instantly hate whomever they cast. Those characters, though entirely made of digital shapes and textures, exist. Plus, no one could ever play Nathan Drake as well as himself.

Well, maybe Nathan Fillion.

Uncharted 2 is visually dazzling and an achievement in storytelling and characterization. It’s also an on-par action game, nothing more. Play it for the first part, endure the second part, and wait patiently for what new levels Uncharted 3 will take video games to.

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iPhone Game Review – Karma Star

October 12th, 2009 · Reviews, Video Games, iPhone Games

Karma Star is best described as a card game. Well… actually… yeah, OK, I’m going to stick with that, but this game looks nothing like Spider Solitaire. Karma Star looks bizarre.

It’s weird. It’s conceptual. It’s really freaking fun.

Love, Health, or Money? Choose wisely! (the answer is money)

Love, Health, or Money? Choose wisely! (the answer is money)

The words “card” and “dice” are never used in Karma Star but the game’s mechanics work in fashions not unlike drawing hands of the former and rolling handfuls of the later. There could easily be a home version of this game in toy aisles next to Apples to Apples. It parallels that well.

Presentation for this “card game” goes the extra mile. Karma Star is essential a game of numbers and strategy. This would be serviceable on its own but also be hard to care about. Yet, polishing up the front end display adds a philosophical depth to everything you do in the game. It is a master stroke.

The concept of the Karma Star is offbeat but simple. Each player (human or computer) is in charge of a life. The goal is to have the best life of all the players. Life is valued by points and the points are earned through a quick game of Risk styled dice combat.

Combat is done through stats. Stats are quality of life characteristics such as “Mind”, “Heath”, and “Family”. The higher you get stats’ numbers the easier is will be to win and defend against the other players. The results of these battles, just like every event that occurs during the game, is depicted as something which happens during your life. For instance, if you were using your “Financial” stat against that of another player and won, the screen might say “large inheritance received from long lost relative”. These messages also change in style during the game as the life each player controls grows older. Since there are only eight rounds in a game, you grow old fast.

You boosted your Love stats so you wrote a love poem. I can't explain that bird though.

You boosted your Love stats so you wrote a love poem. I can't explain that bird though.

Strategy comes into play when you have to pick a stat to upgrade. Do you strengthen your strongest offensive stat? Or do you try to make your weaker stats more difficult for your opponents to score on? What feels like a simple game at first turns into a more complex, rewarding game after some play-through’s.

You’ll be playing it tons of times too since a game rarely lasts more than a couple minutes (those eight rounds go fast). This makes it perfect for an iPhone game: easy to jump into and quick to satisfy.

If I had a complaint about Karma Star it would be the game is too easy to master. Once you have honed your strategy the computer players pose no challenge. There are achievements you can earn by reaching certain criteria which might keep you busy for a bit once you’ve reached this point of the game, but I’d rather have more challenging opponents.

But, maybe I am supposed to find those on my own, since the game has multiple player options.

If a solid, quick, board game styled App for your iPhone sounds like it might be up your alley, stuff that alley with Karma Star. Wait. Did I just make a double entendre by accident?

-3 Mind stats for me.

What I learned today: Despite her best attempts, Amy Sedaris will always look hot to me.

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iPhone Game Review – iSR

October 8th, 2009 · Reviews, Video Games, iPhone Games

Fresh off of some fantastic Wipeout HD playing I saw iSR on the iTunes App Store and thought “That looks like Wipeout for the iPhone. I want to have that!”

Ladies. Gentlemen. iSR is not Wipeout. Despite the large number of positive reviews and a lengthy period of front page time in the App Store, iSR is not even decent.

Looks like Wipeout, huh?

Looks like Wipeout, huh?

No. This game is garbage. Garbage out of a butt.

Now, I sorta/kinda/maybe subscribe to the reviewing philosophy of “it is better to support the good stuff than rag on the bad stuff.” After all, there are tons of iPhone games out there and you don’t need a schmuck like me to say “Hey, you see this game you don’t have? Keep that up.” It’d be a better use of both our time if I instead I said something alone the lines of “Yo dog, Eliss is off the hook.”

Because I talk like that.

But iSR is such a prominent feature on the App Store that I feel like I need to be the dude to point and shout “Hey, the Emperor is not wearing any clothes!” So I will tell you about how terrible this awful game is and how I can see its junk.

iSR is incredibly misleading with the Wipeout look and presentation. This is not even a racing game, since you are all alone on the track. Maybe your character got up real early to beat the rush.

You have the choice between three miserable tracks. What follows next is an time trial on an ugly, badly rendered Tron-inspired obstacle course. Tilting the iPhone moves your ship along the x and y axis of the screen (this is important to mention because it is the ENTIRETY of iSR’s game play). Then you do your best to avoid obstacles while hitting speed boosts. Then blissfully the game is over and you can move past the denial stage of grief.

Despite the outright lie of appearing to be a Wipeout styled game, iSR could have been saved if so much of it wasn’t clearly phoned in.

  1. The vehicle has no weight to it. It zips around your screen like a neon bumblebee.
  2. Everything about the game past the main menu is ugly.
  3. When you hit an obstacle, the iPhone doesn’t buzz or make any sort of noise like I keep expecting it to. There’s no sort of response that has been standard in video games since Pong.
  4. Furthermore, hitting an obstacle has no ramifications other that a slight slow down of your vehicle. So there’s no good need for you to play. You could get up for a drink and leave your iPhone on that table and it’d do pretty well all on its own.

I guess you could be proud of iSR’s success. I mean, you remember when it was just a freshly installed baby app. Now it’s finishing its tracks all by itself. Like a big boy!

Yet you can’t be proud. You can never feel anything but rage towards this awful, waste of space child– I mean App.

I don’t even do numeric scores but iSR gets a zero out of a jillion.

What I learned today: It’s depressing when I feel like I get a better video game shopping experience at Best Buy than I do at Game Stop.

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iPhone Game Review – Minigore

October 6th, 2009 · Reviews, Uncategorized, Video Games, iPhone Games

Let me admit to something. This weeks iPhone game review was chosen because it is a small game. Teeny. Short. Simple. So naturally, I thought I could bang out a quick review. Instead, I’m stuck in a mental discussion between myself and another version of myself (with a neck tattoo) over what makes a simple game like Minigore fun.

Ugly guys and bigger ugly guys. Guess which are harder to kill.

Ugly guys and bigger ugly guys. Guess which are harder to kill.

Minigore is a duel stick shooter. The controls are simple. There are few power ups and they aren’t necessary to excel in the game. There is one map. Options are iPhone standard (such as the ability to play your own library’s music as the soundtrack) but sparse.

“Well” Neck-Tattoo Nick snarls, “Doesn’t sound like that fantastic of a game. Not much to do other than the run and gun game play on that single map included. Sure the developer has promised future updates (weapons, enemies, maps) but problems with their source code has kept any of them from reaching the iTunes App Store.”

That’s true. The game is plain. But I am drawn to it. The shooting is big fun and the increasingly difficult enemies that spawn keep me on my toes and challenged during each round.

“Pfft. You just like it because it looks cartoony.”

Well, that does play a big part in it. The fluidity of animation, the simple but iconic character designs, heck even the in game voice over work adds charm to what could exist as a ugly looking browser based Flash game. Does that mean the game isn’t good because of its simplicity? Or despite it? Tetris is simple and it’s one of our favorite games.

“Tetris was the trailblazer of the puzzle genre. There are dozens of shooters like Minigore,” Neck Tattoo Nick spits back at me, obviously angry I brought Tetris into the conversation. “Plus, the first couple minutes of this game are boring. It’s a cakewalk until the tougher enemies start showing up. There should be some kind of option to start a round at a higher difficulty. Otherwise you’re wasting time. You just complained in the last review how iPhone games should cater to short gaming bursts rather than twenty minute sessions. This one clearly doesn’t!”

Dangit. I know. I can’t help but feel that additional options like that might break the bare bones idiom of Minigore though. This is why I almost consider it an act of God they are unable to add the new content. It’s divine work like that which could have saved the zen-like Web 2.0 perfection of Twitter from things like “trending topics”.

Collecting 3 four leaf clovers turns you into a flaming minotaur. That's why they're lucky.

Collecting 3 four leaf clovers turns you into a flaming minotaur. That's why they're lucky.

“I still think you just like this game because it is cartoony.”

Shut up. Just shut up. Despite everything, I can’t help but recommend Minigore. It’s simple. It’s fun. It looks great. It rewards skill over luck. Not to mention the fact that it is dirt cheap ($0.99 last time I checked).

Plus I only seem to have complaints for it while not playing it. Or when I have a neck tattoo.

I clearly have to work on some issues of mine.

What I learned today: A lot about carpet. A lot.

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iPhone Game Review – Space Invaders Infinity Gene

September 21st, 2009 · Reviews, Video Games, iPhone Games

Alongside its brother, tower defense, the shooter genre has been the barrel that most developers dip their ladle into first for an iPhone game. These servings have been less than amazing.

<I>Then with a BANG came Space Invaders Infinity Gene onto the iTunes App Store. It was a shooter which paid homage to the father of the genre while at the same time introduced a funky new theme of evolution interwoven with 80’s vector graphics nostalgia. Was this the game shooter fans have been waiting for while checking Twitter on their iPhones? Nah.

There are some things done very right with this game. The controls for Space Invaders Infinity Gene are perfectly simple. Hold your finger anywhere on the iPhone’s screen and move it around to maneuver your ship. The ship fires automatically as you waggle your 8-bit hoopty through the retro-motif badlands of invader country. Playing the game consists of dodging enemy fire and putting your ship where it needs to be to rack up chains of destroyed space invaders.

After destroying these evil space invaders… wait a minute. The invaders aren’t attacking earth this time… and your ship is clearly flying through unknown space. Is this a switcharoo? Are YOU the invader? This is revisionist history right here. We have got to alert all the elementary school history teachers to continue teaching that the Pilgrims and Native Americans were best friends and the aliens invaded us!

America!

Anyway.

The way the game is structured to unlock itself (or “EVOLVE”) as you play is nice and caters to my love of being patronized by software. Being told I unlocked “Easy Mode” is a feeling of success which honestly should be more fleeting. Yet here I am. Bragging about it.

Unlocking extra levels, weapons, and nonsense I’ll never use like sounds and graphics is entertaining enough that I still play the game. That being said, I never have much fun for the commitment of time the game requires.

There is where the problems begin. As the levels progress, they get longer with no way to save your

progress or restart from a checkpoint. I strongly believe iPhone games can be as grandiose as any game you choose to sit down to play while doing right by the people who just want a less than 2 minute burst of fun. In its pursuit of the grandiose, this game forgets that people are playing this game on their iPhones in the middle of their busy day.

Furthermore, maybe my eyes have been bleeding too much from playing Ikaruga but this game is pretty dang easy. If you are working on a game where you can beat most levels by keeping your ship at the center of the screen you should probably consider some game redesign.

For an iPhone shooter this is one of the best. Yet that is like saying it is the king of the AV Club. Sure, it can talk to a girl in class without its knees shaking. And sure, that one football player shouted “You da man!” to it in the halls. And sure, it understands when and when not to talk about Pokemon to people. But it is still just one of us– I mean just another iPhone shooter.

Unless you are starved for a shooter, I can’t recommend Space Invaders Infinity Gene. Hopefully, developers will look at what this game did right and expand upon it with future apps.

What I learned today: Giraffes are flippin’ weird to look at. Seriously. Try it. Weird.

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iPhone Game Review – Spider: The Secret of Bryce Manor

September 14th, 2009 · Reviews, Video Games, iPhone Games

You are a spider. You spin webs. You eat bugs.

Spider's gonna squat in that empty mansion till a job turns up.

Spider's gonna squat in that empty mansion till a job turns up.

Not only is that the worst poem I have ever written to win a woman’s heart it is ALSO the entire game play of Spider: the Secret of Bryce Manor, a 2D adventure game that stars the creepy-crawlies.

The game’s challenge level is set very low. You, the spider, can climb around the perimeter of any object in the 28 rooms you find in an abandoned mansion. Tap anywhere on the screen to make him crawl or flick the spider to make him leap. The spider leaps to get to other parts of the room, attack certain bugs, and to spin web. By making a shape with your threads the spider produces webbing which will then catch any bugs it touches. Sounds simple enough, huh?

You do have to work with a limited number of threads (and running out results in a game over) which presents a small amount of difficulty but you always have more than you need.

That is the game play, simplistic, innovative, and.

Notice I didn’t say fun though?

While there is nothing unpleasant about these mechanics, I felt no real achievement as I progressed through the levels. It felt less like reading a book and more like flipping through a magazine: active but without substance.

Any shape will turn into webbing, as long as it is made by the thread.

Any shape will turn into webbing, as long as it is made by the thread.

The charm of this game comes from its setting. Bryce Manor is a wonderfully detailed local and the aesthetics of the game convey a chilly, forgotten mansion perfectly. As the spider you get to explore all the parts a human would overlook in the environment. Through this exploration you get clues as to what happened to the Bryce family.

Perhaps I’m stupid though. I know many people have figured out the dark secret, but I still don’t really know what’s up. I think I’m missing the middle of the Bryces’ story.

Going behind a crack in a drawer to find hidden documents, or abandoned wedding bands are the spooky moments that make this game work. There is a Metroid-like quality to these secrets. You can finish the whole game without uncovering them, but you are guaranteed to be disappointed in yourself when you realize what you missed.

The atmosphere of this game produces. The music and the way the application starts with the title screen over the game in progress are both calm and dreadful. It’s like a horror movie without the suspense. All the shots have been fired, but you didn’t hear any bangs. Spider’s message is clear: “Something horrible happened in this house but you’re in no rush, just eat bugs.”

Alongside the adventure there are other challenge modes to occupy your time. These are much more gamey with time limits and additional difficulty. I can see myself playing them for a couple more weeks. It will be pleasant to revisit the disrepair of Bryce Manor.

A clue! Clearly the family hated lockets. Nooow I get it...

A clue! Clearly the family hated lockets. Nooow I get it...

This game COULD work as a “quick play” game. Auto-saving and challenge modes makes popping in and out of Spider simple for someone with only a few of minutes to spare but I feel like that’s not the best way to experience this title. Exploring every nook and cranny, taking in just what the environment is telling you, and feeling the weight of ghosts on your tiny spider frame can’t be done while waiting for an appointment.

It must be done on the toilet.

Spider currently stands as another great example of what makes the iPhone a compelling platform for gaming. Plus, since it was programmed by a bunch of ex-big-game-company employees wanting to do something new, it’s all the more reason for the industry to take heed of the iPhone and what tidings it brings.

What I learned today: If you keep your XBOX 360 controller attached to your computer all the time, it will get angry at you every time you lose at Minesweeper

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iPhones, casual games, and the haters

August 10th, 2009 · Uncategorized, iPhone Games

I love my iPhone. I think that’s pretty clear to anyone who’s ever seen me dive off a building to catch it from landing in lava (Or was that Batman with… his iPhone?). I use it for tons of things but what I tend to use it most often for is, surprisingly, gaming.

I play games on my iPhone for a several reasons:

  1. I tend to always have that fantastic rectangle with me (read: when on the toilet) so I find myself playing on where I am rather than going to another gaming system I own when the mood strikes (read: when I have to use the toilet).
  2. There is also the availability of new games. With the 3G network and the growing popularity of public Wifi networks I can download a new game instantly at any time. I don’t have to sign up for anything on the computer, I don’t have to run to the store, I don’t have to order something and wait days for it to arrive. Nope. A few presses of the screen and then BAM I’m playing Secret of Monkey Island.
  3. Then there is the reason which more often than not goes ignored by players and game developers. You can do things on the iPhone’s hardware that would be impossible to do anywhere else.
Eliss's creative use of the iPhones multi-touch screen could never work on the DS

Eliss's creative use of the iPhones multi-touch screen could never work on the Nintendo DS

Bolded for emphasis: You can do things on the iPhone’s hardware that would be impossible to do anywhere else.

Now, that don’t take advantage of the iPhone. The rare gems that do use the hardware’s features to create unique gameplay experiences though are why I keep downloading new games. (1up.com’s The Tilt is a great place for game recommendations and reviews)

But with every opinion there is an equal and opposite disagreement (See Internet Law #328) and thus I saw this episode of Sessler’s Soapbox on G4.com.

It seems like Adam Sessler (who is a fantastic video games journalist by the way — Subscribe to his show!) is poo-pooing the iPhone as a gaming system for being casual, easy to program for, and not a system he is already familiar with.

Casual games are the oldest and of the most valid of video games around (I’m glad to see that this is a growing realization among gamers). If Tetris came out today, it would be considered a “casual” game because it does not require humming, crackling consoles and to play.

Yet Tetris is the best game ever made.

There, I said it. End discussion.

Easy to program for means the door has been opened up and opened up wiiide. No longer are large companies with large amounts of money needed to make games. The lone wolf with an amazing idea (see: Eliss) can do it too now. And, because of the exposure of that game across one of the most wildly owned gaming platforms today (the iPhone) that lone wolf’s hard work could possibly pay off in dollar amounts. Thus allowing wolfy the financial backing to do the whole thing all over again with the next idea.

Open doors are good, even if they let in the occasional wild animal.

But the last reason Adam doesn’t seem to like the iPhone as a gaming platform is the one that bothers me most.

There seems to be a lot of gamers who are raging against the iPhone because it is new or because (terror of terrors) it is POPULAR.

Popular is good. Every time an old dude gets bored and plays Flight Control on his phone is a good time. That is good for gaming. Every time a young kid starts playing Peggle on his iPod Touch is a good time. That is good for gaming.

People playing games is good for gaming. Using the garbage-games on the iPhone for proving it is a terrible system is like saying the PC is an awful system for computer gaming because of Battle Beast (seriously, never play this game). It’s an impossible way to prove the system is bad because there are so many good games out for it as well.

Luckily, I don’t have to argue too hard for the iPhone. App sales are doing good and there are a lot of people discovering their love of games for the first time.

What I learned today: Good things come to those who wait for somebody else do it for them.

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My cell phone keeps me from being social?

January 27th, 2009 · Video Games, iPhone Games

I got an iPhone for Christmas and through a number of unintentional, predictable, and completely preventable events I am now deep into it’s gaming world. So far, the iPhone has done little to impress.

But when the little that impresses does, it does so with cartwheels and you, the beholder,cannot help but gasp and grin.

Let me explain.

As a whole, the iPhone App Store has been nothing more than a brilliant psychological test by Apple to see how much garbage people are willing to buy. We are failing this test. When a fart machine application makes more money than the downright amazing game Edge, everyone is failing.

I find it hard to blame the consumers. I find it hard to blame anyone actually. Farts are funny and that is the sad state of things.

This sad state makes the fact that some bright shiny gems have floated to the surface of this ocean of cell-phone-programs-that-choose-lotto-numbers-for-you and bile all the more amazing.

I mentioned Edge before. Edge is this perfect little game that works so well for the iPhone… it’s… it’s almost as if it were made for the thing. I’ll put that thought out of my head though since most of my experiences with these games have shown otherwise.

Edge combines the astetics of Marble Madness with pick-up-and-play game design that is perfect for a portable device. The levels are nice bit sized chunks so you can pop out the iPhone and play one quickly while you have a few minutes to kill. Or you can play a whole bunch if you’re lonely on a Saturday night (like THIS guy).

The games design is very well done too as it gently teaches you new tricks and then works them into the rest of the game. Dare I say this almost feels like Portal game design? I dare.

There are some other good games for the iPhone (and a lot of terrible ones) but right now Edge is the holder of my heart. My ooey, gooey heart. Good games deserve success. So I hope everyone who owns an iPhone and enjoys FUN will purchase Edge.

What I learned today: Most people on Twitter are not funny, witty, interesting, or sincere. So Twitter is for most people.

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